"The Blowtorch Isn't Working. Let's Go Get the Chainsaw!"

Any party in which those two sentences are uttered consecutively is, in fact, officially Off The Hook. I had thought that, at 29-and-three-quarters, I was effectively past my time of attending such soireés. Not so. Sean's illustrious co-worker Aaron proved otherwise with his smashing bash at the Asparagus Farm this past Saturday.

Replete with ice luge (for which the blowtorch and/or chainsaw were needed), this was one of those shindigs where you awaken the next day and say to yourself "Gee, I'd like to go to that party again and again.", if for no other reason than to hear Groove of the Day (who were stationed conveniently right next to the ice luge, until the cops came and shut them down).

Yes. The cops came. I am 29-and-three-quarters and I still go to parties where the cops come. How you like me now? That's right, I rule. I get carded to buy video games and I go to parties where the cops come.

After the live music was shut down, it was time to bake pizzas in the brick oven that was connected to the fireplace. That's right. There was a brick oven. I have no reason to lie.

Can you believe that shit?

Aaron, my party-throwing skillz are permanently humbled. I bow before thee. Thanks for the mean soireé!