What NOT To Do

1. Don't set your alarm for an hour early with plans to go to the gym before work, then hit snooze twice and re-set your alarm for an hour later. This will ensure that you cannot go to the gym, and when you finally get up you are likely to say "Dammit!"

2. Don't mistakenly grab the curry powder when you're reaching for the cinnamon. This is likely to result in a bowl of very icky oatmeal.

3. Don't ask your boss why a specific training program for your department does not exist. She will nod her head encouragingly and tell you it's a "Great Idea!" and that you can "start researching it immediately!"

4. Don't tell everyone you are going to quit eating sugar on the day your co-worker brings in both homemade tapioca and homemade pistachio cookies. You will make yourself into a liar.

5. Don't move to Boston. It is expensive and cold and you will spend a good half of your year staring out the window wishing you could be elsewhere. But you can't afford to take any vacations, because you live in Boston. Bah.