I Almost Forgot to Wear Underwear Today

I almost forgot to wear underwear today.

It was cooler this morning. All of the stifling quality that highlighted last night was gone, replaced by a damp chill that made me rush to switch off the box fan sitting in the bedroom window.

And almost forget to wear underwear.

After my shower, my damp hair piled on top of my head, I rifled through the racks of Work Clothes in my closet. The muggy-too-warm day was perfect for wearing a long-sleeved linen peasant shirt, I decided.

And for almost forgetting to wear one's underwear.

I have a few shirts of that descrip, so after a bit of deliberation I decided on a particular one; white with slits up the belled sleeves. It's a more fitted peasant shirt than some, and goes best with a minimizer bra that keeps the girls in check.

And no underwear.

I slid my arms through my favorite magic minimizer bra, the one that makes Sean gape and say "Where ARE they?!?", and slid the top over my head. But not a bottom.

And not underwear.

Now, I had a decision to make. What would I wear on the bottom? Pants? Capris? A short skirt? A long skirt? My first attempt was a pair of faded green pants from the Gap, old enough that they made me look more like a hippie and less like someone at work. I discarded that idea. Had I worn those pants, I would have chosen the cotton string bikini panties.

But I didn't. So I didn't put on underwear.

The next attempt was a pair of navy pinstriped pants with just a bit of stretch. They are very cute, but A) didn't really go with the top, and B) really won't look great till I lose about 5 pounds. If I had worn these pants, I would have chosen the lavendar thong with the dangling silver star.

But I hung those pants back up. And didn't put on any underwear.

I decided to switch to skirts. I slid the black pencil skirt over my hips and zipped up the back. The stretch was just enough to outline my curves, but not enough to be too snug for work. With this skirt, I went so far as to roll the lint remover over it to take off the Matilda hair. Then I remembered that I had somehow managed to cut my leg shaving for the first time since high school, and decided I would rather not walk around displaying my band-aid for all to see. If I had worn that skirt, I think I would have chosen the black lace tanga panty.

But I didn't. So the tanga panty got to relax in the drawer.

Getting annoyed now, I kicked off my flip-flops and stepped into my long, black, diamond-patterned A-line skirt. Hmm. It worked. No knee showing, no hippieness. It would do. I pulled on a pair of black ballet flats and went to see about my hair and makeup.

I almost forgot to put on underwear today.

After I was sprayed and coiffed and made up, it was time to make my salad for lunch/dinner. I filled a tupperware with salad mix from Stop & Shop (theirs is the best, remember?) and sliced cucumbers and grape tomatoes on top. I added a sprinkling of cheese and some hot banana peppers. Almost as an afterthought, I threw a few olives on top. Then, in a seperate bowl, I cut up a chicken breast to warm and add to the salad later.

I almost forgot my underwear.

I packed the tupperwares in a bag and stuffed them into my work tote. The DVD I had borrowed from a co-worker and the book I was reading went on top. Now, what I was I forgetting?

My underwear.

Oh yes, I had forgotten to put on a necklace and my rings! I ran back to the bedroom and fastened the silver garnet necklace Sean had given me for Christmas around my neck, then pushed my fingers into my spoon ring, curlicue ring, and peridot ring Sean got me in Baltimore.

Again, I forgot the underwear.

On my way out the door, bags slung over my shoulders, I stopped at the hallway mirror to apply some shimmery pink lip gloss. Finally, I realized that something felt not quite right.

I almost forgot my underwear today.

Not bothering to take off the bags, I half-slid back into the bedroom and dug through my underwear drawer. Thus, I am wearing the sheer red-black-and-silver boy short panties.

But,

I almost forgot to wear underwear today.