Thursday, December 16, 2004

I Swear I'm Not Making This Up or Why Are My Pants Meowing, Mommy?


Redpanda: So, what did you get for your adopted Salvation Army kid?

Co-worker: Oh, I got him some dungarees! The guy at Marshall's helped me pick them out. A sweatshirt, too.

Redpanda: That's cool. Is that a G Unit shirt?

Co-worker: Yep! God, I gotta wrap these! *shuffling papers* Does anyone have any tape?

Redpanda: *Handing her some tape* Here you go. Nice boxes. They're not plain old clothes-shaped boxes.

Co-worker: Yeah! This one used to have some kind of candy dish in it. And this one *pause*.........Oh, this one used to have my cat's ashes in it.

Redpanda: ...What?

Co-worker: Yep. Garth. When he died, we had him cremated. My husband was just so upset. So, yeah. And this is the box his ashes came in. See? It says "Garth" right here.

: You cannot give some kid pants in a box that used to have your dead cat in it. You just can't.

Co-worker: Why not? See, I'll even peel off the label that says "cat remains". He'll never know.

Redpanda: CANNOT.

Co-worker: This box is kind of dusty, though. *blowing*

Redpanda: Are you sure that it's dust?

Silence reigns.

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