Friday, March 11, 2005

Fung WHAT?!?

I'm taking the Fung Wah to NYC this afternoon to visit my friend Sarah, the Pollyanna of the East. Most everyone who lives in either Boston or New York is familiar with the Fung Wah phenomenon--the fact that there is actually a bus you can take between these 2 cities that takes 4 hours (plus or minus) and costs a mere $15. Hell, you can't drive there for that these days. And if you drive, you can't watch DVD's or read. Eff that ess.

Still, despite my level of "familiarity", I have not had personal experience riding the Fung Wah. Today I pop my Fung Wah cherry.

I am now going to share with you a few tidbits of Information I have gleaned re: the illustrious Fung Wah.

1. (In response to my comment "Oh, I'm sure I don't really have to be there a half hour before the bus leaves. I'm sure that's overkill. I'll get there like 15 minutes before.") "DO NOT MAKE THAT MISTAKE! I got there a half hour before last time and they had ALREADY SOLD MY SEAT. They made me wait an hour and take the next bus!"

World, I cannot help but feel that this defeats the entire purpose of PREPURCHASING YOUR TICKETS ONLINE. Here is my ticket. I have bought my seat. How can it be gone?

2. (In response to my question as to whether or not there were restrooms on the bus). "Yeah, there is one on there, but they don't like you to use it unless you really have to."

World, I ask of you, WHAT KIND OF PERSON USES A RESTROOM ON A BUS FOR ANY REASON OTHER THAN PURE, UNADULTERATED NECESSITY?!? Are there people who travel the world, taking recreational pees and craps in bus restrooms? (Can a pee or crap ever really be recreational?)

3. (In response to my bosses' question as to whether I was taking the Fung Wah) "Be sure you check to make sure the driver has a license. My daughter took it once, and the bus BROKE DOWN. Then the police found out the driver didn't have a license, so they just dumped everyone out in the street and told them to find their own way home."

World, I am calling you for a ride if this happens to me. Especially since I will have spent all my available cash on knockoff handbags and martinis. Preferably at the same place.

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