Friday, December 20, 2002

Miss You. :(

"One day soon, we all will be together, if our fates allow. Until then, we'll have to muddle through, somehow."

No, we won't. We won't all be together. I don't even know if I could handle everyone from different "lives" I live and have lived converging upon me at once...

This time of year, I always find myself feeling nostalgic and wistful (As opposed to my usual cold, emotionless demeanor...for those of you who don't know me, that's sarcasm in the highest form. I cry at Hallmark commercials. I'm a marketing-type person. I know not just THAT these things are designed to manipulate you but HOW they're designed to manipulate you. I cry anyway. But, I digress.), and I end up reflecting a bit on people I miss. I miss everyone. If you're not sitting in the cubicle across from me right now, chances are that I miss you. But, some people, because of simple logistics, I am forced to miss more than others. So, in no particular order, here are a few of those.

Mom and Dad: Yeah, I miss my parents. I don't need them, per se, but I do wish I saw them more often. They're back in Southern Maryland, "The Land of Pleasant Living", and haven't gotten around to visiting me YET. But, I love and miss them just the same. It'll be nice to go home for almost a week at Christmas. I can't wait to hear Dad blasting Gordon Lightfoot while he makes pancakes.

Brandy: Ying to my yang, Bill to my Ted, G to my Spot. We've known each other since we were 5 and been "best friends" since we were about 8. How many people can boast a friendship of this magnitude? But, she does give me an excuse to get to Baltimore every now and again.

Robb: What can I say? I love the guy like a brother-in-law. And he's taught me a multitude of things, from how to make my own hashish to why I should "never" deprive myself of an orgasm.

Ben: My little baby brother, all grown up now. We were just starting to be able to talk like normal people when he up and joined the Navy. Now he's going to be in boot camp for the holidays, and in some kind of top-secret nuclear submarine training for a couple years in Charleston, SC after that. But, I am wicked proud of him!

Sarah B.: She's still in Cleveland, and has a bad habit of seemingly disappearing off the face of the earth when she's involved with someone. She's also had a bad year, with her mom sick and all. Yo, Sarah! You're in PARMA for godssakes! Resurface!

Fady: "What are you talking a-BOUT?" The only (unrelated) guy I've ever REALLY loved on a mutually platonic basis. He not only puts up with, but embraces my mercilessly teasing him about his nearly nonexistant Egyptian accent. He's working for The Man in upstate NY.

Danny and Jen: My old Lakewood roommates, who could always be counted on to accompany me to Hylander. Or Pacer's. Or Manja. Or any of scores of neighborhood restaurants and pubs we frequented.

Melissa, Amy, and Gina: My Health Comm cronies, with whom I had pretty much ALL my classes up until last semester. They're actually all still IN the greater Boston area, but last semester was so hectic, we never had a chance to even get together! Classes aren't the same without 'em.

The Cleveland Anthropology Bunch: From the Body Farm to the Newark Earthworks to the FBI Forensics Lab, we had a killer time. Even with having to rise so damn early to work those bake sales and fund our trips.

Tiffany: The ex-sister-in-law. She was (is?) a great kid.

Brian and Jason: My wonderful cousins--two guys who remember what "our family" was like before the grandparents got sick and everyone was at each other's throats. I used to get in fistfights with Brian, and we used to tie Jason to trees and leave him. Now Jason's got a child of his own. Wow.

Jumar: "That Jumar, he's a rooster!". He's actually in boot camp with my brother, strangely enough. And who would have thought such a hard-nose type of guy could be as sweet and fiercely protective of me as he is. People never fail to surprise me.

My Sister: She died YEARS ago, when I was very young; so it's not like I miss her as a person, but more that I miss the idea of having a sister. Of having someone who remembers how my parents used to be before losing her ripped their world apart. But then again, that would defeat the purpose, I suppose.

Holly, MacDuff, and Twister: While I'm on the dead people thing, who's to say I can't miss pets I've lost over the years? There's very little I wouldn't give to see Holly's wide, tooth-baring smile.

Deek and Co.: I stopped hanging out with an entire group of people fairly recently. Deek I still keep in contact with (although HE is the one who moved out of the country...), but the rest? Nope. They weren't what they seemed. At 27, I'm a bit old for such high school antics. But, I guess I do wish things had been different. They were fun to hang out with, on a "surface" kind of level.

So, now that I have severely depressed myself, let me give myself a quick reminder that I'll see Brandy, Robb, the parents, and Brian over the holidays. I'll probably see much of the Cleveland bunch next semester, when I eventually get out there for a visit.

And the dead ones? Well hell, they're dead. Not a damn thing I can do about that.

Happy Holidays, to those I miss, those who miss me, and everyone in between.

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