Fools!

As I may have mentioned to some of your, it's "Customer Service Appreciation Week" around here. Ironic in and of itself, since we are instructed to refer to our customers as "members". Kind of like they call you "Associates" when you work at Wal-mart, so you'll gain a sense of ownership in the company. (Actually, come to think of it, we have a lot in common with Wal-mart...) This is to distract our "members" so they won't notice that, in reality, we are a money-grubbing HMO that cares more about lining its pockets than about getting them adequate health care.

But, I digress.

It's "Customer Service Appreciaton Week" here. So we get to take part in all sorts of fun activities! Friday is Crazy Hat Day. Yesterday was Dessert Day. Today is Chinese Food Day. I can't make this shit up.

Every day, there's a little game for us to participate in. The winner of each game will get a prize! Probably a company logo'ed beach towel, umbrella, or tote bag. Yay! The games all explicitly state that they are "for associates (See! Ownership! Just like Wal-mart!) to enjoy during our breaks, lunch period, or at home". This is a direct quote. Which I, of course, pointedly ignore.

The funny thing about these "games" is that they were clearly designed by someone who has no clue about the world-famous interweb and what it can do to help you accomplish speedy research. Yesterday, I had Googled myself to a completed set of trivia questions in 4 minutes flat. Today, it took me half that to dictionary.com all the definitions for the seemingly-obscure vocab words we had been provided with.

The sad part, or should I say the saddest part, is that while I do this; I can hear the people around me calling friends to help. This makes me want to weep into my company-logo'ed beach towel.

But dammit, I'm going to get me an umbrella.