Where Am I, Again?
Morning is always an exercise in futility of sorts. No matter how many times you hit the "snooze" button, time does not magically go backwards till it's 2 am and you're allowed 3 more hours of sleep. At least, it hasn't yet that I know of.
I tend to bond with the snooze button for a good 20 minutes or more before I finally give up and trudge off toward the shower, my feet heavy with sleep, my face glowering at the indignity of being forced to see itself at that ungodly hour.
This morning, though; I had the unusal experience of completely forgetting what was going on. I stood there, damp hair flung between my knees so I could towel-dry it, and tried to remember what I was supposed to do next. Blame it on Faith No More's "Epic". It was playing on WBCN, on the shower radio. I was suddenly overcome with the feeling that I was still a senior in high school and had to rush off to live that life. For a few fleeting moments, I was completely convinced of this.
Gak--how horrifying! I leaned against the sink for support, and looked around the bathroom for clues that I was making that part up. Hmm. Lots of high-priced hair products. I can't really afford them now, so I probably definitely couldn't afford them if I was still in high school, right? The cat's litter box is in there. I didn't have a cat in high school, did I?
I wasn't really sure about any of it, till I finally made my way back to the bedroom and prodded at the lump that was a sleeping Sean. He stretched and rolled over, reclaiming the covers I always manage to steal, and gave me a tired half-smile before going back to sleep.
For a moment, I thought of waking him up all the way and begging him for reassurance that I wasn't a senior in high school, that I hadn't imagined all the hills and valleys of our life together, that it wasn't going to disappear when I "woke up". But then, I figured I didn't have to.
There was no way in HELL my mom would have let a boy stay over. Especially on a school night.