Thursday, May 06, 2004

Open Letter to Annoying Radio Guy

According to WBZ, my faithful early-a.m. news source, quite a few unions are planning to protest during the Democratic National Convention over the loss of state contracts. I personally recommend not doing so, since the DNC is already pretty much the biggest cluster in history and adding to the fray can't exactly help matters. But still, I commend their efforts, and support union contracts.

Except for one thing. The sound bite they used included an interview with this guy, presumably a Boston-area union worker, who said: "Yeah, I make $30,000 a year. I have four kids. I gotta keep a roof over their heads, and I can't do it on that..."

Er...ahem? What? I'm sorry, I didn't get that last part. Surely, what you meant to say was that your skill set, level of expertise, and education justify a higher pay rate? Because correct me if I'm mistaken, but I fail to see how it is my, the state of Massachusetts', or anyone else's problem that you have far too many children. Let's review this. You have a job, for which you are paid a salary. In your spare time, you engage in the complete opposite of family planning by having more children than you can afford (and I feel I can safely say that he has more children than he can afford, simply taking into account that my household income pretty well dwarfs 30k and I cannot imagine affording ONE child, much less FOUR), and then you have the audacity to complain that, based simply on the number of mewling mouths in your house, you are underpaid?

May I suggest that, in your spare time, you take some coursework at your local community college? This would likely make you more marketable, increase your skill set, and potentially lead to an increase in salary. Your current spare time activity of repeatedly inserting your penis into your wife's vagina, thrusting over and over, and spurting gobs of baby batter forth is doing little to bring home more cash. Or perhaps you were unaware that this is the reason that your wife keeps having babies? If that is the case, let me be the first to suggest that you visit your local library and borrow a VHS copy of "The Miracle of Life" and study it until you are familiar with the procedure.

Then, go home, read over your resume, and decide if you, you, merit a pay raise. If so, fight for it tooth and nail.

But for the love of GOD, stop having kids.

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