Strange Form of Self-punishment

It is Easter today. It is supposed to be a nice, sunny day. I would like to spend it with Sean and his fam at the Cape. Eatin' stuff. Enjoying the spring weather at long last.

I will not be doing this.

You see, my friends, I have elected to NOT write my final Master's Project paper. Till now. It's due May 5th. Well, officially noon on May 6th, actually; but the presentation is the night of May 5th, so I'll just turn it in then. (Gotta work, you know?)

I had (mistakenly, it would appear) assumed the paper and the frills that go along with it were some sort of formality. The "real" grade was the project itself, right? The whole capstone course was just a chance to "show off" all we'd learned, right? Right?

Apparently NOT. The new director of the program is wicked gung-ho, and I'm just not feelin' it. Gak.

I turned in a kind of literature review/rough draft beginnings earlier in the semester, for which I just received feedback. According to Professor Gung Ho, it's "well-written", but "lacks focus". It "read like a textbook, but had no definitive direction". Now, I'd find this all much more discouraging if I hadn't banged out the lit review in less than 2 hours flat, occasionally flipping through some articles for direct quotes. Not to mention that the damn thing was only 6 or so pages long.

So, time to build and improve on that. I've got a little over 2 weeks to bang out a good 15 pages (give or take!) of Grade-A Bullshit. My laptop is on strike, so I'm planning to take up semi-permanent residence in front of one of Sean's systems.

If you're looking for me, I'll be there--bleary-eyed, frizzy-haired; and spouting off miscellaneous drivel about health behavior change theories, marketing planbooks, and targeting children with health campaigns. If I seem hungry, feel free to throw me a peanut. I've already asked Sean to squirt me with Febreeze if the smell becomes overwhelming.

With a little luck, I'll be walking the walk on May 19th, clutching my sheepskin in hand and beaming.

I just have to get from here to there, first.....*sigh*