What Hollywood Has Taught Me This Week

1. That if you weigh more than 96 pounds, or could possibly have some semblance of hips and/or ass, or might be a size 6 instead of 0, you are fat (See Love, Actually) and should be called "plumpy" by your family.

2. That if you are a slobbering, old, drunk loser who frequently urinates himself, your chances of getting laid by hottie Lauren Graham (of Gilmore Girls fame) are damn good. In fact, it will likely happen repeatedly (See Bad Santa).

And they wonder where women get these self-esteem issues.