Wednesday, February 25, 2004

Let's Talk About Redpanda's ASS for a Minute

Got your attention there, huh?

Before I explain why thoughts are turning to my ass, let me give you a wee bit of background story. It's really Sean's story, and some of you may have heard it already. Hell, he may even raise objections to my retelling of it. This is why I rarely consult Sean on my blog postings.

So, while Sean was in Australia, he found himself in need of some new undergarments. (Why this occurred, I'm not entirely certain, but I think it may have had to do with acute laziness and a lot of dirty underwear...) Being unfamiliar with either the Australian Underwear Sizing System, or the Metric System, or maybe even both; Sean ended up with the wrong size undies. I mean really wrong sized. These things would have been banana-hammocks at BEST, and I'm still not sure how he stretched them over the vast expanse that is his manly physique.

Anyway, cut to today. He still has all his pairs of "Underdaks", as they're called. He won't wear them, but they lurk in the underwear drawer, ready to taunt him with their mirage of actual, wearable clean undies.

I took at good look at them once, and decided they kind of resembled some of my more generously-cut (READ: not as skimpy as usual) sporty cotton panties. Upon trying them on, I found that they fit.

I remembered that incident this morning, as I leafed through my own panty drawer and was left wanting. I was going to the gym, and the scraps of silky material and lace just wouldn't be, er, appropriate. But there were the Underdaks...

I wore 'em, I wore a pair. And guess what? They are DAMN comfortable. I mean, DAMN comfortable. Mens underwear have much more material in the crotch, I'm assuming for the keeping of the penie-weinie, and that worked for me. No riding up, no bunching, no irritating me in any way, shape, or form. Just soft, comfy cotton. Now I ask you, why is it that women's underwear is designed with a scant inch and a half of material to cover the entire width of crotch? More material was so much better!

I want answers, dammit. Answers! And I won't rest till I find them. My bum deserves comfort and loving care!

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