Warning: Objects in Mirror May be Hornier Than They Appear
I am the horniest girl in the world.
Wait, strike that. I am the horniest girl in the world at approximately 9:25 am, while I am driving to work.
You see, I've got this food/horniness thing. I can't be horny and have just eaten. Horny goes with hungry. But not too hungry, 'cause then I'm just weak and cranky. And not too tired, or too emotional, or too anything else. 9:25 is the perfect mix of awake, not hungry, coffeed up, and not overly preoccupied by work.
Thus, it is Horny Time.
This is fine on weeks where I go in to work at 12. Horny Time strikes while I'm still at home, either lounging on the bed post-gym (this is a great place to be) or showering with my removable massage showerhead post-gym (also a great place to be).
When I go to work at 10, however, Horny Time can be an extremely dangerous time. I'm driving at that time. On I-93 in rush hour traffic.
Now before; when I drove the automatic Passat, Gunther, my natural talents took over quite easily. I mean, there's very little I can't do while driving. Hence, I've given fellow drivers an eyefull more than once. And I don't really care.
But now, in the little stick beetle Gustav, I'm finding my morning, er; diversion to be a bit more challenging. The traffic is in a constant state of stop and go, requiring me to downshift, upshift, and constantly have both feet at the ready.
This is ruining all my fun.
Not to mention the fun of truckers everywhere, who no longer have reason to seek out my route whenever possible.
But it's Ok. I'm sure I'll learn to balance things better. I'm a wicked good multitasker.