Tuesday, September 24, 2002

The Great Underpants Caper

I was emailing this to Sean earlier, and I was so amused by my own amusingness that I just had to share.

First, a bit of background info. I live with 2 female roommates, Jess and Barbara; and all three of us have boyfriends. Jess's Deek is currently living in Lebanon, and the aforementioned and incomparable Sean has his own place, so the only one who is really there a lot (and I do mean A LOT) is Barbara's Coley. Now, that's annoying enough. But, recently Jess and I have, on seperate occasions; happened upon Coley in his underwear. Not boxers, but skimpy little bun-hugging briefs. Ewww!!! I mean, we're not prudes, but put some damn pants on!

So, for your reading enjoyment, here's what I emailed to Sean earlier:

It's Tuesday, so Coley should be over once again. Jess and I have decided that we are going to address the walking around with no pants issue, if it comes up. Which scenario do you prefer?



COLEY: Annoying Irish guy. Does NOT live in apartment. Six feet tall, red hair.
JESS: Blond girl with short hair. Lives in apartment.
AMANDA: Tall redhead. Lives in apartment.


AMANDA, JESS, and BARBARA'S apartment. It's early morning, and the girls are getting ready for work. Suddenly, COLEY appears in his underwear. Not boxer underwear, which would be forgivable (well, it would be ONCE...); but BREIFS or BOXER BREIFS that leave little to the imagination.

Act I, Scene I:

COLEY walks down the hall clad only in his underwear.

A) JESS or AMANDA walks in. Says: "Whoa, nelly! Put some pants on! I don't need to see that!" COLEY walks away, humiliated. Wears pants from then on.

B) JESS or AMANDA walks in. Says: "Damn, it's true what they say about the Irish." *wiggles little finger*. COLEY shuffles off, humilated. Buys bigger shoes and stuffs sock down pants from then on. Never walks down hall pants-free again.

C) JESS or AMANDA walks by. Says: "Wow, I didn't know today was No Pants Day! I'll take MINE off, too!" *Pulls off own pants and struts about*. COLEY is embarrassed. Wears pants from then on. Or, alternatively, COLEY decrees our place the "No Pants Apartment" and never wears pants again.

D) JESS or AMANDA walks by. Pantses COLEY. (Scenario "B" could potentially be enacted here). COLEY leaps into the air, desperate to cover his meager manhood. Not only wears pants from then on, but clutches them around waist.

Which of these scenarios is preferable? Any comments from the peanut gallery? C'mon guys, someone must have had a situation like this before! :)

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